Wrestle

Michelle Markowitz (a member of the Leadership Team) gave an awesome D'var Torah at the Team Meeting (a.k.a Board Meeting) this past Wednesday. She wrote:

“Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” This quote by Oprah Winfrey comes to mind when reading this week’s parsha – Vayishlach. To update you on where we are in our history, we are in the midst of learning about Jacob, our third and final patriarch. He has previously deceived his twin brother, Esau, for their father’s birthright and now after 20 years, which include laboring for Laban, marrying twice – to Leah and Rachel – and fathering at least 11 sons and 1 daughter to his wives and their maidservants, Jacob now is heading back to Caanan, his home, where he faces a potentially dangerous encounter with Esau.

Can you imagine heading home and meeting your brother whom you deceived after 20 years of estrangement? Jacob was obviously terrified. He couldn’t just send Esau a quick e-mail to prepare him for the meeting! Instead, he sends messengers ahead of him and tells them that if they should meet his lord, Esau, they should say that his servant, Jacob, sent them with a message. I think this is the biblical equivalent of groveling.

The messengers returned to tell Jacob that Esau was marching to meet him with 400 men. Terrified, Jacob then divides his camps so if Esau should attack the first camp, the second camp (which would include Jacob) could escape! Jacob prays – this is one of the few prayers recorded in the Tanach. After the night, Jacob then chose an offering for his brother of some of his choicest livestock in hopes of winning over his surely angry brother. He sent servants ahead with the offering and sent his wives and children across the river, but Jacob remained.

The Torah says:

25 Now Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until the rise of dawn. 26 When [the man] saw that he could not overcome him, he struck Jacob’s hip-socket, so that Jacob’s hip-socket was wrenched as [the man] wrestled with him. 27 Then he said, “Let me go; dawn is breaking!” but [Jacob] said “I will not let you go unless you bless me!” 28 The other said to him, “What is your name?” and he said, “Jacob.” 29 “No more shall you be called Jacob, but Israel,” said the other, “for you have struggled with God and with human beings, and you have prevailed.”

With whom exactly is Jacob struggling here? Is it himself? An angel? God? Maybe it is all three, maybe just one. What we do know is that Jacob engaged in a struggle where he was actually injured (in fact, he was so injured that the Torah tells us that we should never eat the thigh muscle, and for those of you who like steak – that’s sirloin, porterhouse, T-bone, and filet mignon, not because it is not kosher, but as a reminder of Jacob’s struggle). In fact, God leaves Jacob physically weakened after this struggle as he is about to embark on what just may be a fight for his life. However, we can learn so much from this encounter. Maybe God has left Jacob physically weakened, but Jacob’s name change here is significant. Jacob is now called Israel – loosely translated as “one who struggles with God.” That’s right, the people of Israel are supposed to struggle with God. We aren’t supposed to just blindly accept God’s word – our job is to question, it is to struggle. It is so that we, as a people, will emerge stronger.

I am sure you have examples in your own lives where you have had to struggle, but, like Jacob, you have come out stronger in the end. In the end, Jacob meets Esau and the encounter goes very well and the two reconcile. By struggling prior to this terrifying meeting, Jacob was better prepared to face his brother.

I am sure this Board has struggled with various decisions, ranging from budgets to spiritual issues, but in the end doesn’t that make us a stronger Board? A stronger community? Most importantly, shouldn’t we all remember that we, too, are really struggling with God? In our struggles, we can remember why we are all here – it’s to serve God, and as Ron Wolfson will teach us this weekend, it’s to be angels and to do God’s work on earth. I haven’t served on the Board for very long, but I am sure there have been strong disagreements in the past, and there will be some in the future – that’s the nature of the Board, that’s the nature of the Jewish people. In the midst of those trying times, we can remember that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing – the struggle and the resulting strength is how we can bring out the best in ourselves.

What powerful words. Thank you, Michelle, for allowing me to share them.
God’s To-Do List Suggestions (Jewish Lights, 2007; Dr. Wolfson)

71. Recognize that the struggle between your inclination to do bad and your inclination to do good is natural. Everyone has bad thoughts, good people don't act on them.
73. Find a cause where people are wrestling and work on it.
77. Practice the art of compromise.
79. Learn how to argue with your loved ones, lovingly. Listen!

God’s To-Do List Suggestions (Rabbi Locketz)

1. Wrestle with God - think about what you believe.
2. Help someone who is struggling through a tough wrestling match (Dr. Wolfson's term); be there for a friend or loved one during a particular difficult time.
3. Support those who need your help...come to the Mitzvah Mall this Sunday (9:30 am -1 pm) and make donations to organizations that truly do 'God's Work' here on earth.

God’s To-Do List Suggestions (Yours!)
What is on YOUR list this week?

1.
2.

Week VI: Care

In chapter six, Dr. Wolfson shares a simple truth:

Everyone wants to make a difference.

How do we do that? By doing simple acts of caring and kindness…

Dr. Wolfson shares a story made popular in the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book. The story’s origins are not well known, but it seems to be based loosely on an essay by scientist and poet, Loren Eisley. Today there are literally hundreds of versions of the story and it is told over and over again on the Internet, in graduation speeches, etc. Why? Because it illustrates a basic truth: every act you do matters to someone or something in God’s Universe.

The gist of the story:

A man walking along a beach meets someone picking up stranded starfish and throwing them back in the ocean, saving them from certain death. There are hundreds of starfish strewn on the sand. The observer comments that the star thrower’s efforts seem futile; he cannot possibly make a difference. As the star thrower tosses another live starfish into the sea, he says, “Made a difference to that one.” (God’s To-Do-List: 103 Ways to be an Angel and Do God’s Work on Earth (Jewish Lights, 2007, p 68)

The question for us then: how will WE make a difference?

God’s To-Do List Suggestions (Dr. Wolfson)

51. Make a difference in someone’s life today by simply caring: hold a door for a stranger, hug a loved one.

52. Perform a random act of kindness – on purpose.

56. Bring coffee and a treat – cookies, bagels, cake – to the office.

59. Never part from your loved ones without kissing them good-bye, no matter what.

60. Always say “I love you” at the end of phone calls with loved ones and friends. You never know whether it will be your last opportunity to tell them.

God’s To-Do List Suggestions (Rabbi Locketz)

1. Pick up the phone and a call a friend or relative that you haven’t spoken to in a while – just because.

2. Do something thoughtful and unexpected for a friend or family member such as surprising your spouse or children with their favorite meal – prepared without asking.

3. Help an elderly neighbor with yard work or (this time of year) shoveling the driveway or walkway.

4. Say hello (with a smile!) to someone you don’t know and watch them smile back at you.

God’s To-Do List Suggestions (Yours!)

What is on YOUR list this week?
1.

2.

Week V - Comfort

Again this week, our chapter in God’s To-Do List corresponds with the Torah portion that we will read this Shabbat. “Comfort” is what the beginning of our portion is all about! Abraham has just entered into the Covenant with God and is healing from his circumcision. Our commentators tell us that what happens next can be interpreted as a divine house call. We read:

The Eternal appeared to him by the terebinths of Mamre; he (Abraham) was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot… (Genesis 18:1)

God was visiting the sick – Abraham – to offer him comfort in his time of pain!

But there is another type of comfort offered in our portion. The text continues:

…Looking up, he (Abraham) saw three men standing near him. As soon as he saw them, he ran from the entrance of his tent to greet them and, bowing to the ground, he said, “My lords, if it please you, do not go on past your servant. Let a little water be brought; bathe your feet and recline under the tree. And let me fetch a morsel of bread that you may refresh yourselves… (Genesis 18:2-5)

Abraham exemplifies what it means to be hospitable; to offer hospitality to guests, to make them comfortable, no matter what else might be going on…even if it means ending a visit with God!

Using this text (which will be read Shabbat morning – come hear it!) Dr. Ron Wolfson tells us what it means to “comfort.” He teaches that when we visit someone who is sick, we bring God’s presence to those who need it most; that when we offer comfort, we are doing God’s work; and that when we welcome strangers (as Abraham did) we just may be welcoming God’s angels in the world.

God’s To-Do List Suggestions (Dr. Wolfson)

41. When your friends or relatives are sick, bring them soup, ginger ale, tea, tissues.

43. Let someone go in front of you in line; yield to someone trying to merge into traffic.

45. When you see someone who looks sad or unwell, ask whether there’s anything you can do to help.

46. Go to funerals; comfort the mourner at the wake or shiva with your presence.

49. Take new colleagues in your company out to lunch.

God’s To-Do List Suggestions (Rabbi Locketz)

1. Introduce yourself to someone that you don’t know when you come to services or other programs here at Temple.

2. When someone new moves into your neighborhood, greet them and welcome them to the community.

3. Donate your old jackets and coats to SHIM (South Hills Interfaith Ministries) by placing them in the bins in the hallway near the Temple gift shop so that someone who really needs them will feel warm and comfortable this winter.

4. When a friend or neighbor is going through a difficult time (caring for a sick parent, mourning a loss, etc.) offer to help with errands, childcare, bringing meals, or to do whatever would make the burden a bit easier.

God’s To-Do List Suggestions (Yours!)

What is on YOUR list this week?

1.

2.

Week IV: Call

Rabbi Mahler writes:

We’re now up to Chapter 4 of God’s To Do List: “Call.” “Call” coincides perfectly with the Torah portion for November 7 and 8, Lech Lecha. Lech Lecha begins with God’s call to Abram to leave his native land and go to the land that God will show him. God does not identify the destination to Abram. All that God says, in effect, is “Get up and go,” Lech Lecha. That was enough for Abram to get up and go. Oh and by the way, Abram is seventy five years old when he gets the call from God. We might expect Abram at that age to inquire about the destination God has in mind. Boca Raton? Scottsdale?

We know what Abram didn’t know. Canaan was the destination. Canaan was the Wild West of Abram’s day. By contrast, Abram’s native Haran was the heartland of civilization in the ancient Near East. The contrast underscores that the journey was far more spiritual than geographic or economic. Spiritual journeys are the only kind that God ever has in mind.

Ron Wolfson reminds us that God calls to us today, as surely as God called to Abram in Lech Lecha. These spiritual journeys may take us no farther than to the sick bed of a friend or to the dining room on Friday night to celebrate Shabbat. Sometimes spiritual journeys take us no farther than the depths of our heart to offer love and kindness when only love and kindness are needed. But sometimes God calls us to undertake a spiritual journey where the destination is imprecise, distant and perhaps even difficult. Abram then becomes our perfect role model. He did not hesitate to get up and go, simply because it was God who called to him.
God calls to us. God calls to us in the words of the Torah and the Prophets. God calls to us through the wisdom of the ancient sages of the Talmud. God calls to us in the many needs of our world today. May we always answer God’s call.

Some favorites from God’s To Do List….

38. Study how biblical figures answer God’s call.
39. Listen for God’s call.
You’ll know it when you hear it.
40. Respond to God’s call. Remember, you
are on a mission from God to do God’s work on earth.

Week III - Rest

Rabbi Mahler writes:

I began my Yom Kippur morning sermon with the following….

“At various points in my childhood, I dreamed of being a private detective, a West Point cadet, a cowboy, a frogman, a designer of jet planes, rocket ships and cars, an astronaut, an ace pitcher throwing no-hitters and winning World Series game sevens for the New York Yankees, and in what will come as no surprise to many of you, a Rock ‘n’ Roll guitar star. The closest I came to realizing any of these dreams was when I was ten and pitched a no-hitter in summer day camp. I never dreamed of becoming a rabbi, but when I was five or six, I would thumb through my picture book of Bible stories and sometimes dream of becoming an angel.”

Toward the end of my Yom Kippur sermon, I said….

“I pray because it sustains my one and only childhood dream that has withstood the test of time, that has not vanished with the years but only grown more mature: to serve God and sing God’s praises like an angel: Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh. Judaism teaches us that the only difference between angels and humans is that we have free will. I pray because we have the free will to love God, which makes our love of God and God’s love of us more precious to God than the
angels’.”

Dr. Ron Wolfson’s marvelous little book, God’s To-Do List is subtitled 103 Ways to Be an Angel and Do God’s Work on Earth. Chapter 3 is entitled “Rest.” In it, Dr. Wolfson describes how we, like God, can and should rest. Angels always must do God’s bidding. When we rest as God rests, we become higher than the angels, such is the power of our day of rest, Shabbat. Dr. Wolfson concludes this chapter with items twenty-one through thirty on God’s To-Do List, all of them acts of blessings. Here I highlight three that seem so especially important today:

22. Put aside your unfinished business and leave the world as it is on the Sabbath.
26. Join your spiritual community at your place of worship on your day of rest.
28. Invite family and friends to share a Sabbath meal

In these times of economic uncertainty, the need to rest is all the more essential. We are human beings; we must stop being humans doing all the time. As the National Election approaches and the sense of American community is fractured by political factionalism, the need grows to identify with our Temple Emanuel community. This applies even more so to our homes, when we share Shabbat with our loved ones. On Shabbat, feeding the body with loved ones also feeds the soul.

Week II - Bless

So how did we do last week?

Did you "cross off" some of the things on your list? Remember that many things will always be on our list...we will want (and need) to do them again and again...

There are so many ways that we can CREATE. Each of us has the potential to be creative. What did you do to tap into that creative quality that we all posess???

By the way, our Temple Sukkot look beautiful. Thank you to everyone who decided to use their creativity in that way!

Week II: Bless - You are God's partner and you have the power to bless.

God's To-Do List Suggestions (Dr. Wolfson's from God’s To-Do-List: 103 Ways to be an Angel and Do God’s Work on Earth (Jewish Lights, 2007, p 34)):

11. Bless your children and spouse (on Shabbat...for the traditional words of blessing check out the "Blessings Over Children" on http://urj.org/shabbat/blessings/ or make up your own!)

15. If someone gives you great service, ask the person for the name of her/his boss and write a thank-you note.

16. Ask God's blessings for the food you eat, safe journeys and healing.

18. When someone asks for your blessing, give it.

God's To-Do List Suggestions (Rabbi Locketz)

1. Make a list each night of (at least 5) things with which you are blessed. The list may be the same each day...then again it might not!

2. Come to Simchat Torah services here at Temple Emanuel next Monday evening (October 20th) at 7 pm. Help us bless and honor our newest Torah Center (religious school) students. Bring your dancing shoes - it will be a fun evening!

3. Bless your home or even a room in your house (if you haven't already) with a mezuzah. Buy one that you think is beautiful or particularly meaningful. Or put up the one your child made in Torah Center. Recite the blessings that sanctify your home. (I would be happy to give you the text of the blessings!)

4. Thank family and friends - with a note, email or phone call - for the blessings that they have brought you.

God's To-Do List Suggestions (Yours...)
What is on YOUR list this week?
1.
2.

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